Quality Time

How do you spend your quality time with your hubby? Well, me and my pandalikearchitect love to spend it with food. He is maintaining his own food blog and he has been asking me to post some of my food thoughts but I barely have the time for now. Anyway, Saturday is our day. It is that one day of the week wherein we have to be together. We spend it in a different variation but then food is never absent.

Our one day quality time activities

1. Eat at a new restaurant (especially Japanese restaurants)
2. Watch Movies
3. A cup of coffee together
4. Drink different cocktails
5. "Work"
6. Catch up on things over a glass of beer
7. Window Shopping
8. When we have the money, we go crazy shopping.
   
9. Take pictures of food and each other
10. BBQ

Quality time can do wonders for your relationship. QT will provide you that needed spice for any relationship. If you are both busy, make sure you regularly have your alone time together. Here are a couple of suggestions, I found on the net.

1. Arrange a quite evening at home and just enjoy each other's company.
2. Do chores together, it may not sound quality time but it can be. Actually me and James blog together or do our pay-per-click with him by my side. (He actually never stops insisting unless I open up my account and start clicking ads, sheeeees)
3. Plan a trip together. We did that, the other week. A weekend getaway at the famous Bantayan.
   
4. Take showers together, as suggested by the article.
   
5. For married couples, you and your wife can have a one night stand.
   
6. Play some board games together and fire up those competitive spirits.
   

Careers and relationships

When we were still starting our relationship I noticed that Zenia and I have a lot in common. One thing that we have in common is that we are both career oriented. Lately we have some issues between us regarding our careers. Although we both want to be successful in our careers, one major difference between the both of us is that, contrary to what she told me before, she has already planned out her career and I on the other hand want to have some options in my career.
We have been talking about this for quiet some time and in one of my options our plans were more or less the same. We were thinking about working abroad and looking for greener pastures wherein we can learn and improve our skills and at the same time earn a better salary. For the past few months I have been talking about this with her and was at one point seriously considering on working abroad. I was always optimistic on this and never really took some time to think about the other aspects of this decision.
Last night I consulted my parents about this and they were showing me all the possibilities that might happen if I push thru with this plan. After that long talk I reevaluated my options and tried to look at my other options, which was to finish law school and stay here in the philippines.
After I told her about this, there was a sudden change in her mood. I noticed a bit of disappointment or anger from her. I really couldn't tell but our conversation ended with her contemplating about something. I keep on asking myself "what is she thinking right now?".
I really value our relationship but at the same I know that this stage in our lives is crucial for our development. I know that at this point in our relationship we both have different directions in our careers. Right now I'm not sure what is really the right path to choose.
I think I should also take some time to contemplate about this thoroughly. This is one decision which will really change our lives, relationship, and our career, I don't want to end up regretting my decision.

Is love enough in a relationship

Yesterday I spent the whole day with Zenia and the whole day would have been perfect until later that night. We had a small argument which later on turned to a fight. While we were heading home I was infuriated at something and I tried to air it out by talking to her, what happened next was not what I expected. She got irritated at me because of what had happened in the past and we got into a quarrel. Anyway my point is I was shocked with her reaction, since I usually try to cheer her up or comfort her whenever she is angry at something. that is if she's not angry at me.hehehe
Her reaction that night really bothered me and while I was lying in my bed, I couldn't help but think, is love enough in a relationship. I never thought I would ask myself that since I've always believed that love is enough. Lately I also wondered if love was enough for Zenia. Every time she gets disappointed or mad at me I always ask myself, does she really love me for who I am?
Sometimes I just couldn't believe why she has so much expectations from me. Do I need to be that perfect guy she wants in order for her to know that I love her or do I need to be myself and see if she loves me for who I am. I just can't help but wonder why despite of how much we care for each other we still have these arguments and misunderstanding. Even though all you want is for that other person to be happy there are just instances where you end up in a conflict. I guess the answer to my question could be solved in understanding the meaning of true love. Everytime I ask myself the meaning of true love I always remember Corinthians 13 and then I'll realize the answer to my questions.

Issues

Issues. We all have them. Personal issues and issues as a couple. Issues can either be that right spice needed or just an annoyingly painful tack stuck on your foot. Personal issues, you just have to deal with on your own. Go to a weekend get away for some soul searching and start digging through those deep seated emotions.

Issues between a man and woman are more complex. Men and women are biologically different and its not surprising that issues are present in every relationship. I wouldn't believe that there is a single couple in this world today blissfully living issues-less. I'd literally eat all these words up out of envy if there is.

Issues are there because you are not having a relationship with yourself. The other person is different from you, he has different needs and a different set of perspectives. It is like yin and yang, different yet both can still harmoniously live together. However if you caught yourself in a relationship with issues as high as the Eiffle tower, I suggest you take the nearest fire exit.

There are no hard and fast rules in relationships nor are there standard protocols. The norms on men and women going out have completely evolved and is continuously evolving.

Live your present instead of continuously over analyzing the past. The past can be a good source of issues. Learning to embrace that differences can be romantic at some point.

The Five Variable Love Test Outcome

I am completely drained. I have been writing 60% of the day and 40% I have been having fun with photoshop *grin*. James have been blogging like a blog addict for the past few days and thank God he ow recognizes his growing addiction. How addicted is he? Well, he only called me like once to tell me to go online. We chatted using YM and 70% of our topic is about blogs.

I love taking short quizzes at blogthings. When I ain't got no idea to post, I play around with blogthings. For this post, I took their Five Variable Love Test and James took the test as well. The result I can only post is my result since James don't to share his.

So below is just my result.

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

To James: You are such a kill joy. Don't take the results seriously baby James (this is his nick name that his friends gave him, heck would I call my boyfriend baby).

My growing blog addiction

Lately I've been spending some time with my blog. Zenia was the one who introduced me into blogging and I only recently realized how relaxing it is to write blogs. I've been writing a lot of post on the things that interests me. The only problem is I have a lot of thing I really like to talk about and there are just times I really like to voice out my ideas. I think Zenia created a monster in me, she created a blog addict monster.hehehe I really don't know when I'm going to run out of things to say but as for now, I am still enjoying my blogging experience, thanks to Zenia. I guess this is another thing Zenia and me have in common.hehehe

Expectations, disappointments and frustrations

Last night was our anniversary and the outcome was not what I had expected. As you can see on the previous post, zenia was disappointed with me and I was frustrated with what happened to us yesterday. What should have been a celebration ended up with disappointment and frustrations.
Before we went to sleep we talked about what went wrong earlier that night. She told me that she was disappointed with me since she though I didn't prepare and planned the evening for our anniversary. She thought I didn't care or valued our anniversary. Maybe its because every time there is a special event I always try to do something special to brighten her day.
At the back of my mind I was already thinking that she might be expecting something extra ordinary from me that night. I really didn't entertain that thought since what really mattered to me was that I could spend time with the woman I love even though I have problems of my own. My biggest problem that night was I dont have enough money to do all the plans I had for that evening since the money I saved for that evening was borrowed by someone because of an emergency. I was really hoping that I could get through the night without her even noticing that problem and still enjoy the evening with her. To make the long story short had a major miscommunication last night.
The night would have ended differently if only I disclosed to her my situation before hand. Even though my intention was not too drag her into my problem and let her enjoy the night, I still made a big mistake on not telling her that. It could also have been different if she didn't have high expectations from me. Anyway we are patching thing up right now and I've learned something important from that bad experience last night and that is communication is vital in order to strengthen and your relationship.